The Secret Diary of Rose Tyler
by TheDoctorMulder
Summary: Random things Rose jots down in a journal about her time with two Doctors. OT3 Ten X Rose X TenToo Part 3 of the Breaking Point Universe. A series of oneshots from Rose's POV.
1. Same, But Different

The Secret Diary of Rose Tyler:

Chapter 1: Same, But Different

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex

This first entry is pretty much setting up the stories in the next entries, and allows this to be read without having to read Breaking Point first.

Each entry is a one shot.

This first entry is set just before the events of She Doesn't Need Me. Rose and the Doctors are already together.

XxXxXxXx

Dear Diary- Do people really say that in one of these? No, absolutely not, that sounds like an 8 year old is writing this. I will never write that again.

It's been about a month since I came back to this universe, and it's been a wild ride. I don't know what I was hoping to have when I came back, but what I got wasn't what I could have expected at all.

Part of me worried that my Doctor would have moved on, or that it had been hundreds of years for him, or he wouldn't want me around after I told him that I loved him and broke down on that fucking beach.

But then I remembered that he burned up a sun to say goodbye, and what the beach was called (Bad Wolf Bay). And that kept me going through learning physics, and building the dimension cannon, and wrong parallel universe after wrong parallel universe, and through finding him dead in an alternate universe.

When I finally made it back, we ran to each other, like we were in one of my mum's bodice rippers or something like that. But he got shot by a damned Dalek before I could even get to him and started regenerating.

While I had been jumping through the universes, I found this one, and was stopped from getting to the Doctor about a year earlier for him by myself and the Doctor, of all people. I was handed a letter with sometimes detailed and sometimes vague instructions telling me what to do to make sure the paradox completed right.

The thing was, I had met the Doctor _after_ this all happened, and he was still all, sort of brown. Brown eyes, brown, spikey, really, really great hair, brown pinstriped suit, brown coat given to him by Janis Joplin. He loves that coat in this body. It's his third greatest possession, after the TARDIS and sonic screwdriver, of course.

So I freaked out, and told him he couldn't die. To be fair, I probably would have freaked out anyway, even if the paradox hadn't happened. I mean, I had just come back, and he was mortally wounded, and my one experience with regeneration wasn't so good. He had went a little crazy for a moment and had a neural implosion, and was sick for hours. We didn't need that right when we were trying to keep the multiverse from disappearing.

So he did something weird, even for him. He used the energy to heal himself, then threw the rest into a hand! Not just any hand, it was the one that got chopped off on Christmas Day, just a few hours after regenerating.

I still have to ask him how he came to have that hand, and why it was in a jar in the console room, of all places.

So one thing led to another, and I thought we were going to fail. Donna had been dropped into what was essentially a star at the center of the Dalek Crucible while still in the TARDIS. The TARDIS had screamed in my head, and I had to act like I couldn't feel her, because that would have given away my secret.

The whole thing was looking pretty bleak, when The TARDIS appeared, and out came the Doctor and Donna. The Doctor failed in what he was going to do, but Donna figured out how to stop the machine. It was funny, and I'll never forget how happy she was with all that knowledge in her head.

Poor Donna. She had done all these wonderful things, and she can't remember it now. We'll remember for her, and the Ood will sing of her for the rest of their existence.

At first, I had thought that there was another paradox, allowing two Doctors to be in the same place at the same time, but it wasn't. It was something called a metacrisis. I still don't quite understand how and why that happened, but we now have two Doctors, the original one, and one that is part human.

This new Doctor has one heart, no ability to regenerate, and ages closer to how a human does, if a bit slower.

The three of us now run together, and it's all the same. We laugh at inappropriate times, get things done at the last second, and run from the latest person the Doctor has insulted-like always.

It's the same, but it's different, very different.

For starters, there's simply the fact that there's two of him, which is a whole new layer of complicated. They both look exactly the same, ramble the same, and have the same mannerisms, like the running his fingers through his hair when he's stressed, or the way he scratches at his neck when he's caught out.

They're the same, but they're also different.

My new, new, new Doctor is warmer, and not just his body heat (35 degrees to his counterpart's 16). He's more open. It's like his guilt has just melted away. Not all of it, of course, or even most of it, but he just seems overall happier than his counterpart. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he's part human.

But his moods shift even faster than his old self. He gets angrier faster and easier, and scarier when he gets there. He's a lot like his leather and ears self now, actually. He's still the Doctor, though, he still tries not to hurt anyone if he can help it.

He's sassy and sarcastic. I mean he's always sassy and sarcastic, but he's a bit more like he was when he was all leather and ears. I keep saying that, actually. It's like some of the parts of the personality he used to have have merged with his personality he regenerated into when he became all sort of brown.

When he's stressed, or tired, or being sarcastic and sassy, he has a tendency to talk a bit like Donna. Oh, the names he calls his two hearted double! Names like Dumbo and Plonker when he's being thick. Spaceman happens to be my favorite-as if he's any less of a 'spaceman'. That's usually reserved for times when the original Doctor is rambling on about something or the occasional affectionate moment. Not that he'd ever admit to being affectionate to his 'brother.'

He also tends to sometimes refer to me as "Blondie," as in, "...and Blondie over there's name is..."

He's still rude and not ginger (and he admits to being unhappy that he'll never naturally be a ginger.) He's still the same as ever, but different.

That's the mantra of this new life, I suppose, same, but different.

I'm stronger than before, I'm faster, I'm smarter. I have a lot of experience with being on my own in dangerous situations. The Doctor, Doctors, I mean, are both starting to see this, but they still sometimes act as if I'm as breakable as I used to be. If anything, in some ways, they are even more protective and possessive and drive me barmy.

I should have known that would happen, though, because the reason for that is the biggest change of all. We're together.

I've always loved him, it wasn't until after I met Jack that I realized that I was IN love with the Doctor, but I never thought anything would come of it. Was even half convinced I'd have to live my life celibate if I wanted to remain by his side. But that's all different now.

Since almost the beginning after coming back, I made my intentions known. I was going to be there by both of their sides, no matter what, unless one of them didn't want me, and it was up to them how I was by their side. After that, the part human Doctor and myself had been making out like teenagers behind the bleachers.

Two weeks ago, everything changed. The full Gallifreyan Doctor took me to this beautiful planet where the flowers glow in the dark, and while we were there, he told me that he was willing to give us a shot, even if I was going to be gone long before him. That's all I wanted to know.

After an incident with some locals (of course there was an incident with the locals, and I wouldn't want it any other way), I told him my secret. I'm telepathic, I heal fast, I'll have an extremely long life, and weirdest of all, I'm not completely human anymore. Human Plus is what the Doctor calls it.

I have the third strand of DNA that all Time Lords have, which controls regeneration, lifespan, and whatnot. Well, the Doctor calls it TNA, and I'd be wondering what that stood for, if I could remember what DNA stood for in the first place. It's partially temporally out of sync though, slowly coming into sync, which is part of why we hadn't noticed any changes before. We don't know how it'll work when it's fully in sync. The possibility that I could regenerate scares me a bit, actually.

I also have bits of the genetic code of the TARDIS in me, allowing me to hold the extra artron and huon energy still left behind from my time as a goddess without any side effects. It seems that I'm still the Bad Wolf, and will always be.

The next day, we found another TARDIS. It's just a baby coral right now, but it seems to have attached to me, and I was able to save it with some of my artron and huon energy. It seems that I'm going to have my own TARDIS someday. Kinda excited about that, actually!

After that, we made love for the first time, together, all three of us. It still makes me blush.

There's another area where they are different. The Doctor with one heart tends to be passionate, a little uncontrolled. He also likes to sometimes do it as a human, without telepathy. He's also very adventurous, and likes to experiment.

He's also a bit of a flirt. I mean the Doctor has always been a flirt as I know it, but this particular part human version is so full on innuendo and flirt. Sometimes I wonder if a bit of Jack didn't get in there!

The Doctor with two hearts tends to be calmer and more controlled, unless we let the telepathy take over a bit. He's also cooler, temperature wise. His internal temperature is only 16 degrees normally, whereas mine is 37 degrees. That adds a whole different dimension to making love. He also needs a certain amount of certain hormones before he can really do anything, and I only give that much off if I have an orgasm. I like that, a lot.

The Doctor with two hearts and I got a little overzealous with the telepathy the first time we were together, and wound up making a bond with one another, only one step below an unbreakable bond. From what I understand, we were holding back from one another, and it was enough to keep ourselves from going whole hog into it. So now, I have a bond with the full Time Lord Doctor, where I can always feel his presence, and can feel strong emotion if he doesn't block it off. We can also send images, words, feelings, and such through our link.

I also have a lighter link with the part human Doctor. We set it in place so that he could teach me some things about telepathy that my previous teacher, who was quite a bit weaker than me, couldn't or didn't know about. As soon as my link with the Time Lord is settled, I'll try to establish a stronger link with him, so that I also always feel his presence and tell if he's in danger or not without having to actively reach out.

He asked for it, but I want it, because he's the same, but different. The same in that he's a trouble magnet, and he can't stay away from helping people, no matter if he's going into danger or not. Different in that he's almost as breakable as a human now. And I want him safe, for as long as possible. I want him to grow old on me, because that means we'll have had plenty of time together.

And look at me rambling on. There's so much to write in here. I wonder why I put this off for so long!

We're going to this planet called Otinata today. There should be this thruster thing there that they want to get hold of for the TARDIS. Hopefully everything goes off without a hitch.

What am I saying? We'll probably be running back to the TARDIS.


	2. I Feel Like Hell

Secret Diary of Rose Tyler Entry 2: I Feel Like Hell

Entry happens the day after the events of She Doesn't Need Me.

XxXxXxXx

Well, we didn't run back to the TARDIS this time. That's something at least. In hindsight, I think I would have rather been running back to the TARDIS.

While we were on Otinata, the Doctor in blue was kidnapped and taken to a ship orbiting the planet to be infected with a virus. They believed him to be Ornanithian, cause we looked the same.

One thing led to another, and we managed to keep the virus from infecting all of the Ornanithians, but I got infected instead.

Thankfully, with my...enhancements, the virus wasn't deadly to me, and we had the cure, so I've only got one day where I feel really wore down and achy. The important part is that no one else will catch it.

But I feel like Hell. I've always hated being sick, and I don't know why, but I had it in my head that I'd never get sick again, with my new enhancements and all. I told this to the Doctor with 2 hearts, who told me that there are many things that could get him down, it has to be a really aggressive virus to do so. He told me about a virus called Chen 7 that could do him in in a day, but only affects dual hearted races.

May we never come across that.

I really need something else to call them, than by their physiological differences or what they wear.

If my 19 year old self could see me now, using words like physiological.

They've been sweet, very sweet, and that's nice and all. Like everything the Doctor does, though, there's no halfsies. I want an hour to myself.

That's one of the many little issues about there being two now, when something happens that would have had him kinda clingy before, now it's doubled.

I shouldn't be complaining, even in my head but I'm tired and achy and grumpy.

10 more hours at the most, hopefully, and this'll be over.

We've taken a break from Harry Potter in the movie marathon and just watched another archaeologist based documentary. The Doctors get a kick out of that.

I just remembered that we're supposed to have gone on a trip to ancient Egypt so I can see the artwork as it originally was.

Think I'll suggest a comedy after the next Harry Potter movie.


	3. Doctor, Doctor

The Secret Diary of Rose Tyler:

Entry 3: Doctor, Doctor

I fell asleep during Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, so I guess we'll save that for our next movie marathon.

I woke up feeling much, much better while the two of them were watching Spies Like Us. Clue one missed.

When I came out of the bathroom, all freshly washed and dressed and feeling like a new woman, they were grinning. That should have been my second clue.

We went to Egypt, after I reminded the Doctor in brown that he said we'd go there sometime.

I went to the wardrobe for a period appropriate dress for a noble woman. Don't want to be mistaken for a slave. The TARDIS showed me a wonderful outfit. A white dress that billowed out a bit. It had one transparent sleeve. A pair of thick bracelets, a beaded collar, and an armband. There was also a black wig.

They were both in a great mood. The Doctor in blue even dressed up in ancient Egyptian clothing for the occasion. I assumed that they were in a great mood because they had been cooped up for a day.

You know what they say about the word ass-u-me.

They were talking to each other, and calling each other by their chosen title. Normally, the part human Doctor calls his other self any number of oddball nicknames, and the Gallifreyan man calls his double "you," or "him," or "he," and sometimes "idiot."

Clue 3 missed.

I blame the attire that the part human Doctor was wearing for my lapse in seeing what they were doing.

He was wearing a kilt of sorts, white with a transparent over skirt. No top. A beaded collar and two beaded wristbands.

And his Chucks.

Seriously, he was wearing his red Chucks with traditional middle kingdom Egyptian wear!

We tried to goad him into dressing in period appropriate clothes, but he was having none of it, even when we reminded him of the tunic in Rome.

Anyway, we had a great day, walked around tombs that were already a bit old, watched a tomb being worked on. I even painted a bit of one of them! The tomb of Senusret III is partially painted by me!

So the three of us were walking around ancient Egypt circa 1800 bc-ish, I was looking like a pale noblewoman, the part human Doctor dressed like a pale nobleman, and the Time Lord Doctor walking around in a suit and trench coat. Why he insisted on wearing that trench coat in heat like that, I'll never know. At least heat doesn't affect him.

Speaking, well, writing of his attire...Why does no one ever call him out on his clothes? I can understand in the future, or anytime after suits were invented, but a suit in ancient Egypt? I'll figure this out one day.

In the meantime, I still love dressing up.

I've got great pictures to add to my books, and one new one to add to my adventure wall.

We came across an accident in a construction area. These people are working with giant blocks of stone, and an accident can easily become deadly. Physicians ran into the area when the stone stopped moving, but luckily, there was only one injury this time, a cut to the arm by a piece of chipped stone.

I was just following the Doctor, whichever one was leading the way at the time, and it was the one in the suit who followed the doctors.

I got a lecture on Egyptian medicine. Evidently, they were the first humans to equate a pulse with heart beat, and could set bones. They were the most advanced in medicine at the time. Egyptian doctors were leaders in medical research through the Hellenistic period and the Roman period into the Islamic period.

Great, now I'm sounding like an encyclopedia.

So we follow the Egyptian physicians (say that ten times fast) into a tent, and the Doctors explained that I was visiting (though they neglected to say where I was visiting from), and wanted to know about medicine in this part of the world.

I don't know how they did it, but somehow, those two managed to reenact the "Doctor" scene from Spies Like Us!

They did it with quite a bit more enthusiasm than than Dan Akroyd and Chevy Chase did, though. And no flirting.

Goofballs

I'm still laughing just thinking about it.

**A/N:** I'm marking this as "complete" because, technically, it's always complete, being a group of oneshots, but I will always be adding to this as long as I'm writing the Breaking Point universe.


	4. Sleeping Arrangements

The Secret Diary of Rose Tyler Entry 4: Sleeping Arrangements

Time: Sometime after_ She Doesn't Need Me_, just before _Bonds_

XxXxXxXx

We all need different amounts of sleep.

The Doctor with two hearts should have about 9 hours a week- a week! I can still barely believe that. Though he's been known to go 2 or 3 weeks without sleep. He doesn't really have a schedule. At least he's sleeping more now than he used to.

The warmer Doctor needs a lot more, 7 to 8 hours every day.

I now need about 5 hours every day. At least I think so, that's what I usually get anyway 5 to 5 ½ hours. It's possible I could need less by now, but I enjoy my sleep.

Needless to say, the Time Lord never has to sleep alone anymore, and neither do I, but the part human Doctor does.

I worry that he'll feel left out. There's so many ways he could easily feel that way. He has a weaker telepathic link with me than the other one. The lifespan difference. The sleeping difference. He's more breakable.

I've noticed that I already have a tendency to want to protect him over the other one. That sounds so bad, but when you think about it, the Time Lord Doctor can regenerate and survive a lot more, the Gallifreyan/human Doctor is basically human in that sense.

I admitted that to the Doctor late one night about it, after the other one went to bed, and he told me that now I know why he's always so protective.

He then started apologizing, again. I've started just crossing my arms and giving them a look whenever one of them starts apologizing for something that I don't consider to be his fault, or I'm happy about.

I do the only thing I can do- try to make sure the Doctor who needs sleep every day doesn't both wake up and go to bed alone. If I'm tired when he goes to bed, I go with him, If not, I try to time when I would wake up close to when he should wake up.

I do my work on the baby TARDIS when he's asleep, the parts I do on my own anyway. Not much, just checking the size, temperature, humidity, and other sensors and noting them in a log, so we can make sure the little one is doing well. I'm learning more and more about them. The Doctor once worked in the place where TARDISs were grown for a short time when he was a boy. Something about a paper he worked on when he was in the Academy.

I do most of my gym time when he's asleep too. I need some time to myself each day, that was true even back when he was all ears and leather and one person.

One of these days, I'll get one, or both of them to teach me that Venusian Akido that he told me about on Otinata

It's time to get some sleep now.


	5. Fear

A/N: My computer gave me the magic blue smoke yesterday. Lovely. Just what I needed. I make my living with a computer. Well, I say computer, but it's really a computer and yarn. I'm a crochet and knitwear designer. Anyway, I'm now typing on a tiny tablet and have lost the first half of Bonds chapter 2. Not even going into the half of my pattern book I'm writing that's now stuck because this tablet won't recognize an odt file! I'm so glad I backed that up.

Rant over. On to the story.

XxXxXxXx

The Secret Diary of Rose Tyler Entry 5

Timeline: Anytime after Breaking Point

XxXxXxXx

I'm afraid.

There, I admit it.

Okay, so I'm afraid of a lot of things, but this is new.

I'm afraid of myself. It's starting to hit me that I'll live who knows how long, and I'm afraid of losing myself. My mother said back on the day of the Battle of Canary Wharf, before it had ever begun that I'd be some strange woman walking in the marketplace one day. That I wouldn't be Rose Tyler anymore. That I wouldn't be human any more.

So far, she's got the 'not human' part right, but I'm still mostly human. Though I believe that she was actually talking about my humanity. I still think, act, and feel like a human. Still, even then, I find myself occasionally acting above humans. I'm not. I'm just a girl, who still has an ape brain myself. I am not above anyone, and I must remember that. Otherwise, I'm no better than the snotty people who've looked down on me my whole life.

I am just a human with a few enhancements. I am just a girl who happened to blindly stumbled into something extraordinary.

I worry about losing my compassion. I'm an empath, I'm supposed to be one of the most compassionate people, yet I find myself blocking off that ability often to concentrate on less emotional things.

I'm afraid about becoming as jaded as the Doctor proves to be sometimes. I know I've said that I'll never get used to a different ground beneath my feet, but what if I do? What if I get so used to it, it's like standing in a backyard to visit a whole new planet?

I know that barring an accident, I will outlive my family and friends, including one of my Doctors, maybe even both. I've made peace with that. I figure that I'll meet so many wondeful people that I wouldn't have met otherwise, and it'll be fantastic.

But I worry about remembering my family and friends. Human memory is only so good, and you lose details so quickly. My Jack, if he's really the Face of Boe, which I still have my doubts about, didn't act like he knew me on platform 1. And what was the apparent last time he saw me, I was posessed by that flap of skin and acting like a bitch.

Oh god, we need to see him after that incident. I can't let his last memory of me be "I hate telepathy, just what I need, a head full of Face."

There's a silver lining, though. If he is Jack, he'll be really Zen in his old age. He's already mellowed out a bit 2000 years in.


	6. Life is Good

The Secret Diary of Rose Tyler Entry 6: Life is Good

Timeline: during _Bonds,_ some spoilers for chapters 2 and 3.

A/N: new computer has arrived :) So did my daughter's present. I got her the 10th Doctor's sonic screwdriver, with the sound effects and the UV pen and ink pen under the black tip. She's gonna squeal!

XxXxXxXx

What was supposed to have been a simple trip to get bits and bobs for the TARDISes, TARDIi? How does an acronym work in plural?

Anyway, back on track here, we got bits and bobs for them, and I was about to get my last bit, when I ran into the Doctor, the one that wears the blue suit, and I still need a better way to differentiate them from one another.

We were a bit, naughty, and wound up being chased back to the TARDIS. I tell you, nothing kills the mood faster than a little girl squealing for her daddy just when you're about to shatter.

Glad we got warning. That could have been bad otherwise.

Of course, we might not have gotten chased if the Doctor could have kept his gob shut!

Of course, the other Doctor had to insult us about our human DNA, something about a drive to procreate. We asked him what his excuse was for the closet incident last week.

Oh, the stuttering!

We went out to eat, on Barcelona! I love Barcelona. So beautiful. The dogs without noses are weird looking, but adorable. Their faces are flat. Apparently, their sense of smell is located in little whiskers coming off the tips of their ears.

Dress code is a bit strict, though. Legs have to be completely covered, and women aren't allowed to wear trousers. Ridiculous, yes, but that's OK, though, because it gave me a reason to wear that long skirt I got on Trilaxia Three.

Life is good. Bad things will happen, eventually, but for now, let's enjoy the good things.

Good thing! We learned today that the bond with the Doctor with two hearts has settled now. For so long, the strength of it fluctuated. From what I was told, it should have settled a week ago, at the latest, but then again, I wasn't born a telepath, and that made it take longer. The explanation was rambling, as usual, but the gist of it is that there's certain things you just learn as you grow up. Stuff that can't be taught, only learned through use, and the ties between telepathic people is one of those things.

Now that it's settled, the human Doctor and I can make our bond stronger.

We really have to get the name thing sorted out. I don't even have an idea in my head, and I bet they haven't even thought about it.


	7. Cybermen and Vortex Stuff

Secret Diary of Rose Tyler: Cybermen and Vortex Stuff

Timeline: just after _The Next Doctor?_

The last few days have been pretty busy, even for us.

We did Christmas with my family, which was great. I gave the Doctors some little edible ball bearings. The two of them are ridiculously hard to get presents for, so I went with sentimental and edible.

They gave me a sword, just like my old one. I was surprised at that, with it being a weapon and all. They also gave me a screwdriver, like theirs, but silver and gold with a red light. That shocked me even more. Since when does the Doctor give a sonic screwdriver to anyone?

The next day, we wound up in 1851 London, on Christmas eve, where we met a couple of people who we thought were me and the Doctor who can still regenerate at first. It turned out that Rosita was just a coincidence, and "The Doctor" was just a poor man who had lost his wife and son, then lost his mind at the same time an accident happened with an info-stamp. He was reunited with his son.

The day brought up a ton of horrible memories and fears, though. The problem was with the Cybermen.

Cybermen that we had thrown into the Void at Canary Wharf. They used Dalek tech to get out of the Void while it was cracked, and I can't help but wonder when and where other Cybermen and Daleks will show up.

I don't even want to think on the Cybermen anymore.

In other news, my Vortex manipulator works now. And apparently, in this universe, Vortex travel with it feels very good to me. I gain energy from it. We theorize that it's the bits from the TARDIS in me. In the other universe, though, it hurt like hell.

I also didn't physically need to sleep for a while because of it. Spent the night in the library with the Doctor learning some of the basics of his language, which I'll need to learn in order to learn the other things I need to know for my TARDIS. Books only in Gallifreyan, concepts that English can't properly explain, etc.

This is difficult. It's a language designed for incredibly intelligent beings who time travel. English has 13 tenses, Gallifreyan has 59.

I wonder why the Little TARDIS is going to be mine. I don't know what I'm doing, I just happened to have the energy it needed. I sometimes feel that I'm out of my depth. Oh, who am I kidding, when it comes to being anything more than human, I always feel a bit overwhelmed.

Well, I wanted to learn. Guess I will now.


End file.
